If you cannot cherish what it is the Lord is doing in your life, at the very least do not waste what He is doing in your life. Lay down the self-pity, and with all the strength and grace that He allows you, yield to His work. If you cannot fully pull yourself up to yield totally to your Gethsemane (most of us cannot) then at least yield up to the light the dark feelings of resentment and bitterness that are trying to hatch inside you.
One day you ware going to come to the conclusion that serving the Lord is mostly crying...and suffering...and agonizing. What can you do in that sad hour? Nothing really, except to bend over double and absorb into your being those sufferings, sufferings which really belong to the church. In that hour, hear sufferings for her. And if you happen to look up, you will see her going on her way, gloriously rejoicing. She will be oblivious to the fact that she is, at the moment, so very glorious because you have suffered.